The proposal came unexpectedly, I am still reeling from the proposal shock. I can’t believe it…I choose not to believe it.
The white gold engagement ring, which felt heavy on my finger, is the stark proof that he did propose to me.
My younger sisters have been “ooh-ing” and “aah-ing” over the engagement ring.
If only they knew!
It has indeed been a night of utter surprise, who knew a date night would turn into a proposal night. My mother can’t stop beaming, as her first child and daughter, she is excited to know that I am getting married.
As I stare at her smiling face, it dawned on me that I haven’t seen my mother smile in a while, since she lost her husband, my father. Her infectious laughter threatens to contaminate me, but I refuse to celebrate in this sham engagement.
My mother noticed I wasn’t smiling, she raises her eyebrow in question at me, and I shrugged in reply. I gave her a little smile and looked down at my finger where the ostentatious ring rested. The ring seems to be mocking me, it seems to say: this is the price for your silence.
The humiliation burns as the images threatens to erupt, I close my eyes to prevent it. I am not strong enough, the images spills from my memory and flashes across as tears rolled down my face.
“Deola” I heard my mother’s soft worried voice call out to me.
“Are you alright?” she asked in concern, I opened my eyes and our gazes locked. I saw concern in her brown eyes, she looked worried and scared. I parted my lips to speak, but no sound came forth.
How do I explain? How do I tell her? I asked myself these questions as her worried eyes roved over my face. My younger sisters had been alerted to my present state and I watched their happiness dim slowly.
“Sister Deola, are you alright?” Bisola, the youngest, asked. I sighed and closed my eyes in shame.
How do I tell them?
How do I tell my mother that her future son-in-law…
… Raped me.
#Diary of an Abused Wife.
Written by Okusun Mercy.